Finding your true Happy.

Happy Hump-day everyone! I just wanted to start this post off with I hope that everyone is well in the world and that if you are stressed or upset about anything that this post may help you lift your spirits. 

Happiness can be found in many ways in life. Some people think cars, beautiful homes, expensive clothes, and traveling are the way to achieve happiness or ways of showing others you have made it in life.

Of course, all these luxuries may bring temporary joy and make life easier and seem more exciting. But having sustainable and consistent happiness can only come when having gratitude and awareness of our blessings. We need to remember that what we have already is enough. Our health, families, love, a job, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clean water to drink are incredible blessings that we all (myself included) take for granted.

For me having been through a number of these ‘struggles’ taking a step back and really thinking about it brings it all back especially when you hear or see others in a much worse off situation.

One of my health examples was when I was in hospital on my own (whilst living in Australia) I had gone through a big operation on my bowel and was so close to having some of it removed (long story short). It was a few days post operation that suddenly, I had a complete melt down and cry. I hardly had any friends at the time and my family were on the other side of the world. But another women (couldn’t have been older than 55) was next to me comforted me and we got chatting – basically she has fought years with aggressive cancer, and it was back again for her.

Moments passed and she said, “So your operation, will it stop you from living your life?” “No”. “Will it change your whole life from now?” “No”. To her response being "You cant let one shit time bring the rest of your life down. Life is full of shit times, but you will grow and learn from the experiences. You are alive, you have fought through another day, do not let these few weeks waste the next 50+ years of your life. Someone out there in this world would take your worst day you are having right now". 

This was all so true, and there she was having chemotherapy and going through a divorce! So it really goes back to you should never just assume people have their shit together and have the ‘perfect’ life. 

At some point today, try to find one thing to be grateful for. You may be upset, frustrated, or in pain, but try to find out which part of that misery comes from a limited or defective point of view? Whatever it may be, there is always one tiny thing we can be grateful for.

I recently read that there are two types of fears: That of not getting what you want and losing what you already have. Gratitude is the resolution to both. It’s very difficult to attract the ‘better’ into your life if you are busy pondering on what you don’t yet have. If you are angry and bitter now, you will still only be as angry and bitter when you have more, it sounds to me like that if this is your case then it will never be enough to fill that empty hole.

Instead, let’s try start with where we are today, especially within this worldwide crisis. Let’s do a check list shall we? Do you have a roof over your head? Food to eat? Clothing? (I’m not talking anything fancy) Someone to talk to or reach out to? Those are all treasures to cherish, remarkably simple things.

One day, all your dreams or manifestations may come true (the body, the partner, dog, the house etc), but so long as you are in the habit of finding the flaws in everything or everyone, you will not be present to receive to appreciate the ‘added blessings / desires’. You will be busy obsessing over the next victory or moaning the most recent defeat or loss.

It is all about learning how to appreciate the good in everyone and seeing ourselves as connected to others helps us to be content with our place in the world, knowing that we are neither more nor less valuable than anyone else. Either today or tomorrow, set an intention for the future you, enjoy what you do have, or try to brighten someone else’s day with the things or skills you have. Smile at a stranger, hold the door open, say good morning / evening, bake your neighbour a cake or write them a note saying you wish them well.

Why not try to strike up a conversation with someone new each day, you would be surprised how much it makes someone’s day. Just a cheery hello and asking how their day is going, you would be surprised where the conversation can go and they may even be that person who will help get you that promotion at work or “knows a guy who could help”.

Yes, it is true, there will always be people who are more attractive than us (apologies to anyone who does not believe anyone is more attractive then themselves), more accomplished, and more intelligent. But here is a gentle reminder that there will also always be others that are doing not as well. Instead of striving to be perfect, or even worse thinking that you are better than others and can get to your ‘dream destination’ and not worry who you hurt in the process, we should just marvel at our good fortune to be here at all.

Take it one day at a time, stop, take a breath and look around. Enjoy where you are right now.

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